james 1:4

Well, I'm sitting in Paradise (or Njewa as we call it) as I type this. We came up yesterday for the weekend. One of the national staff members got married today so we got to go to that. Went to the ceremony this morning and back for dancing at the reception in a few hours. Cool stuff. Now onto a recap of the past week...

Well right after I posted last Thursday something happened that completely broke me down. I'm better now but I reached my breaking point. It was a long time coming--I hadn't broken down and cried since the first night in Chiwengo. We've always asked "If you had a ticket home, would you go?" And I have always said no, but Thursday I would have said yes. Satan was attacking me and discouraging me so much. I was realizing how long I'd been gone and how much time I have left. And I didn't know how I could do any more. I was forced once again to rely on God and find my strength in Him. It's really hard because usually when Satan's a punk, I can tell someone and they'll pray, but you can't do that here. Your usual support system is gone and that really rocks your world. I was really learning about how to find sole comfort from God alone because people just couldn't fix it--here or at home. Because of that breakdown and everything in general, I've been learning so much about perseverance. Even though it's tough sometimes, I can do this. God will give me strength.

I mentioned before that the kids had exams and were studying for them. Well, we found out their scores this week and all the kids I tutor passed. I was so proud. They'll move up to standard 7 in Sept.

The kids were on break this week, the aunties were gone, and we had 2 teams in so it was a crazy wee. One team was from Hawaii and spent most of their time doing outreach with the Jesus Film. I had the chance to go with them Tuesday to a showing of it. It was so cool. We did outreach with the kids. I was partnered with 2 of the Hawaii team. They were a bit unsure what to do so I helped with games and songs and then let them take over for the message. I kinda just wanted to facilitate since it was their thing, and I just loved standing back and watching God work through them. Leading teams has been something I've wanted to do for a while and I'm really considering it more. I'd love to plan trips and lead them. A trip out to Chiwengo would be sweet. Any takers? Ha.

I got sick Wednesday. It just came out of nowhere. So Wed and Thurs I spent all day in bed. We took my temperature Wednesday and I had a fever. I just cried as I saw the numbers go up because it's not fun being sick in another country. I was miserable and bummed I missed out on the kids, but I had a lot of time to think. It's hitting me more and more that this is coming to an end, how much I'll miss these kids, how I'll miss AFrica. Even though this has been the hardest thing I've ever done, this has been my home for the past several weeks and I have loved my experience. This is a part of me. The kids have been asking when we're leaving. I think we're going Sat morning or Fri night for good. It's going to be hard to say goodbye, and we aren't supposed to cry in front of the kids. Just please pray for strength in regards to that. I've been preparing myself for the whirlwind of emotions I'll be experiencing these next 2,3,4 weeks--the goodbyes, the excitement of going home, adjusting back to the States and school, processing what I've been through and what has happened to me. I've definitely changed. I'm definitely stronger than I was before. And I think differently about things now. God has revealed a lot to me and I know he has a lot left to reveal in this last week of ministry, my last week in Africa, and the weeks at home. Thanks for the prayers. Til next time...

perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything -james 1:4