old posts.

I'm transferring posts from my old blog to this one. There's only a few, but I figured I would post them. Happy reading.


declaration.
December 17, 2007
we are so “us-centered” as christians.

i’ve come to realize that so many times we fail to see the big picture. we get so caught up on our own lives, that we fail to realize that it’s not about us. it’s about God. God’s main purpose is to bring glory to Himself. one of the main ways He does this is through us. He desires to be worshipped. that is why the main purpose of us as christians is missions. it frustrates me because so many christians think missions is for the few radical ones, that some people are only “called” to missions. if everyone was waiting for a “call,” there’d be very few people out there in the world. missions isn’t a “occupation” that some people go into. it’s not just for a few. it’s for everyone. everyone’s flipping job in this world is missions. and yes, that might not mean going out to a foreign country, the thing that is so commonly associated with the term missions, but it does mean declaring God’s glory to all nations, regardless where you are physically in life.

so many times we lose sight of the fact that it is all about HIM. it’s all about His glory. it’s all about making Him known. we live “me-centered” lives. we pray prayers like “God help ME in this hard time” or “God show ME where to go.” we sing songs at church that are all about US. we focus on the sin and what it does to US as people and how that draws US from God. so often we leave out the part that mentions God’s glory. our prayers should be more like “God use me in whatever way so that your glory is made known even more.” we fail to see that everything God does is to bring glory to His name.

i’ve been reading a book (live life on purpose) and it’s all about missions and glorifying God. i highly recommend it. to anyone. seriously. in the book it says, “sin wages war against the glory of God.” and i believe that so many times we do not see that part. it’s not that sin hurts us. it’s not that sin hurts others. it’s that sin hurts our purpose of glorifying God. it’s all about Him. if people see us saying we’re christians, but acting totally different, that defames God’s name. it’s so mind blowing to realize that everything God does and has ever done is for His glory. that’s why He set apart the nation of Israel, so that through them, He may be glorified. that’s why He became so upset when they worshipped idols (or even when we worship idols..)…He was scared the other nations would be so confused as to who the real God was. He wants people to know Him. He wants people to glorify His name. He wants all to be drawn to Him in worship. it’s up to us. worship is the central part of missions. God just wants to be glorified even more. and i just think it’s so glorious that the God of all, who wants to be glorified in everything, chooses us as the vehicles by which His name is glorified. it really makes you step back and think, what am i doing? am i defaming or proclaiming the name of God? that’s a huge thought. it’s a huge responsibility. but if we don’t do it, if we don’t step up, it’s never going to get done.

declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among ALL peoples.-1 chronicles 16:24



run.
December 13, 2007

beholding Your beauty is all that i long for. to worship you, Jesus, is my sole desire. for this very heart You have shaped for Your pleasure, purposed to lift Your Name higher.
here in surrender, in pure adoration, i enter Your courts with an offering of praise. i am Your servant, come to bring you glory, as is fit for the work of Your hands.
now unto the Lamb, who sits on the throne, be glory and honor and praise. all of creation resounds with the song. worship and praise Him, the Lord of lords.
Spirit, now living and dwelling within me, keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus’ face. let not the things of this world ever sway me. i’ll run til i finish the race

it’s overwhelming when the God of the universe shows up, when He speaks to you.

i think it’s so cool letting the one who created it all guide my steps. i mean, why wouldn’t i let Him do that? i have no flipping idea what to do with my life, so why wouldn’t i give it to the one who knows all, who knows my purpose? it’s just so cool. there’s such a sense of security knowing that you only move when He speaks. of course, it’s scary and overwhelming when He does it. it’s frightening when the God of all chooses to whisper in your ear. but it’s always for the best. He speaks. it’s just the figuring out what He means by it that’s hard and whether you choose to obey or not.

two nights ago i was sitting at dinner, just like any other night. but this time it was different. God decided to speak. i’ve learned that one of the ways God shows up most in my life is through “coincidences,” which really aren’t coincidences at all. he’ll bring something up one day that i never heard of before and it will come up in several places over the next few days. such is the case with youth with a mission. the past two days i have been highly considering taking a year off from school to train with ywam for 6 months. if you want to know more about this and how God exactly showed up, let me know and i’ll explain. ywam has a training program for the 10/40 window. you go through training in germany or jerusalem for 12 weeks, and then you go work in africa or asia somewhere for the rest of the time (10-12 wks). and i was like wow that’s really cool, i’ll probably do that when i get out of college since they offer them every year. but here’s the thing…this year’s programs start september 29, 2008 and go through march 2009. and so it occurred to me, maybe God wants me to go this upcoming year. and that means i would have to take a year off from school since the program occurs at such a weird time.

that’s something that i’ve been praying about constantly the past 2 days. i went to the beach yesterday. by myself. to be alone with God. and all i repeatedly heard was “wait. kristen, wait.” i’m not sure if that means wait to go for a while, or wait and i’ll give you more clarification. but looking back, i’m not so sure this whole thing was a thing from God that was like “GO. NOW.” yes, i believe that it was God showing me an organization that i could probably work with. but maybe it was Him giving me more clarity on what i’m going to be doing with my life. and i think in a way, He was waking me up from my slumber yet again, causing me to rely on Him and seek Him and His will with my whole heart—jeremiah 29:13. i mean, why can’t i seek Him fully all the time? why is it only when i’m discerning His will or when he shows up? why do i only seek Him in the quiet, in the silence, in the times of waiting?

i don’t really know what God wants me to do about this ywam thing…if he wants me to go this upcoming year or if He has some other reason behind it. but no matter what it is, i’m going to follow. that song at the beginning is pretty much my favorite song right now. “lord of lords” by hillsong. and it’s exactly what i’m feeling right now. i won’t let anything stand in my way. i’m going to follow Jesus through everything. that’s the reason i’m here—to give HIM glory. i’m going to run til i finish the race.

i will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; i will counsel you and watch over you. -psalm 32:8

but i trust in you, o LORD; i say, “you are my GOD.” my times are in your hands. -psalm 31:14-15



here in my life
December 11, 2007

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word, Lord I’ll receive
Your faith to walk on oceans deep
-”here in my life” hillsong

i’m flipping obsessed with the new hillsong cd, “saviour king.” i think it’s my favorite hillsong/hillsong united cd of all time. and that song hit me very hard today with that first verse. lately i’ve been learning a lot more about faith, about following wholeheartedly. over the years, especially the past 3, there have been several times when God called me to “walk on water” and do things i haven’t necessarily wanted to do. He’s called me to give up on my own dreams, put my own desires aside, and follow where He wants me to go. and it’s always been really hard, but it’s always been worth it.

He’s been working on my heart a lot more lately, especially with the whole Him wanting me in the 10-40 window in the next few years, a place that i never wanted to go before in my life. the 10-40 window is the place even christians are scared to go to. and i was one of those. but God definitely changed my heart. and now i would not go to any other place. why would i go to places where other people go already? why wouldn’t i go to an area of the world where there is one missionary for every 3 million people? why shouldn’t we go to the place that needs His love the most, even if it is terrifying? God doesn’t call us to be safe. and i’ve learned that even more in the past few weeks.

lately, i’ve felt that tug on my heart that God is yet again preparing me for something. everywhere i go, people are talking about following Him no matter where He leads you. and that’s something i strive to do anyways, even if it means giving up what i want, which is usually what it entails ha. before, when this kind of thing happened, i would be terrified. i would be like what the heck is God going to do? and yes, i still ask that question. but now it’s more like i’m so flipping stoked to see what He is going to do, what He is going to call me to do for Him. it’s like alright God, bring it, i’m ready.

they always say that the first step is the hardest when following God…like the first step in giving something up. i disagree. i don’t think it’s the first step. it’s each step following the step preceding it. every step following the last one you took is even harder than the first. God constantly challenges us in ways we never dreamed of before, but each time He brings us through it, just like He promises us in His word. and we come out of it stronger and are ready for something even harder. God pushes us. and even though it’s tough sometimes, i’m so thankful for it because it moves us out of complacency and forces us to rely on Him even more.
sometimes i come to those times when i have no flipping idea what God wants me to do. i’m kinda like that now…like what do you want me to do next? i find that in those times, in the times where we are searching for His will, in the times of silence and waiting, we truly seek Him. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:13. that verse rings the truest in those times of waiting. so it’s kinda like, hey if we seek Him consistently during the times of silence, maybe God makes us sit in those times a little longer so we can truly seek after his heart. so even if we hate those times of waiting, they’re good for us. i like that thought.

so yea, i have no idea what God has up his sleeve. but i’m flipping stoked. and it will be hard, and require faith, but He gives us strength to be victorious in all situations, even though they seem insurmountable. and yea, this thing coming up is probably tough, but i’m still going to follow..because i’ve learned that we only truly live when we live for something bigger. and that something is a Someone who’s madly in love with you.



what are you man?
November 29, 2007

so i’ve been meaning to do one of these for a while. and i finally got around to starting it today…when i should have been studying for exams. i figured there would be no better way to start this off than with the thing that resounds the most to me, the thing that i strive more and more each day to become a part of me, the thing that is the center of it all. and that thing is not a thing but a noun. a verb. an action. an emotion. that thing is love. and that thing is everything.

so yesterday i was listening to one of my all time favorite songs, “simply nothing” by shawn mcdonald. and it’s definitely been impacting me a lot lately in my life. and the whole song is very simple. over and over again it says “what are you, man, if you do not learn love?” wow. holy flipping crap is all i can say about that. and hey, what exactly are we if we do not learn love? we’re simply nothing. it’s that easy. it’s that straight forward. without love, we are nothing. and that just stands out so strongly.

love has been a theme, or better yet, something that has constantly come up and something that i’ve constantly been trying to perfect since the summer. i find myself talking about it a lot, striving to be a lover. i guess you could say i love love. you see, love is the center of everything. it is the reason for everything. it is the most basic thing, yet the most difficult to master. it is so simple, yet so profound. it is easy to grasp but so difficult to comprehend. it heals. it protects. it conquers.

1 corinthians 13 says it best in verse 2: if i have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, i am nothing.

you can do all the service projects in the world, but if you don’t do them in love, it’s worthless. it is the only thing that is eternal. everything else may fade, but love remains strong through it all. and love, yes love, is really what the world needs. not money. or clothes. or houses. or food. yes, they need that. but what they need most of all, the thing that will heal them in ways those necessities can’t, is love. and that’s what we are called to be. we are called to love. we are called to be lovers. we are called to be the remedy for this world, like david crowder so aptly puts it. so let us throw off everything we have that holds us back, and love. let us join a revolution firmly rooted in love.

“People always want to define you by what you do. I started saying, ‘I’m not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people.’” -Shane Claiborne