My bags are unpacked. My journal is filled. My last daily letter was opened. My first shower at home has been taken. My pictures are up on Facebook. I guess I'm officially home...
One of my last letters from a friend mentioned Dueteronomy 2:7-- The LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.
I feel like this very accurately describes my experience in Malawi. At the beginning of my trip, I came across several verses about the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years. They doubted God's good intentions and complained that it would have been better for them to stay in Egypt. Right away, I realized that Chiwengo was my desert, and in fact, I spent exactly 40 days there this summer. Chiwengo was rough and I doubted God's good intentions in the beginning and throughout my time, but God was faithful and just. He watched over me the whole time and provided in ways I could never have imagined. It was just a very good closing verse to the 2 months.
Coming back home has been quite the adjustment. I feel off, like I'm stuck between two worlds. It is a tough place to be. There is a tension between poverty and excess, and it is a tension that I have been trying to work through.
I've been struggling with how I can accurately convey all that I've seen and learned. How can I do it in such a way that the people I encounter back here in the States will understand it? My trip is so much more than what I did. It is more than tutoring kids, going to a village for outreach, or leading house devotions. It is about seeing children run up to you when you walk into their village because they are so eager for love, affection, and hope. It is about getting to see 88 of God's miracles everyday and knowing that God chose you to love on them in the homes at Chiwengo. It is about seeing God in the sunrises and the sunsets and knowing that He is good and that He is present in the midst of suffering. But how can I convey the feeling you get when a child says your name, when you walk through the tall grasses and know that this is all God's, when you see the suffering and know that the Lord of the universe holds them in His hand? I don't think I ever could. But, oh how I wish I could. How I wish I could describe the depth and the extent of what I experienced. And while I don't think I ever could, I would love to try.
I would love to return to the place that has captured a piece of my heart, to the country that has opened up a whole new world for me. It is a world that has been here all along, but it is a world that I was unaware of. There is so much going on in this world that we are unaware of--overseas, in our country, and even in our neighborhood. A huge key is that you will only see as much of God as you want to see. You will only see as much of the suffering that you want to. Will you chose to let God open your eyes to Him and what He wants you to do?
Even though my internship is over, my journey is not. It has just begun in a way. We hear it so much that there is an opportunity every moment of every day to be an offering. It's true, and I want to take hold of that. The faces of the hurting, the broken, and the suffering are the same no matter where you are in this world. So because of that, I am challenging myself to look in my everyday life for the things I saw when I was in Malawi. And I would challenge you all to do the same. I can't just come back home and relish/obsess over my time in Africa. I have to join in on His work here. Like I mentioned, my journey has truly just begun...
God didn't need me this summer in Malawi. But He chose me. And that fact that HE chose ME blows my mind, and I am so incredibly thankful that He did. This has changed my life in so many ways, and it is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
In addition to thanking God, I owe a huge thanks to all of you here in the States. Without your partnership, without your prayers and support, I would not have been able to have this experience. I would not have been able to go; I would not have been able to make it through. It was such an encouragement to have people back home praying for me, and even more amazing to have people I have never even met partnering with me. It was truly humbling, and I am so honored. Because of YOU, I was able to hold the hand of a child who so desperately needed love, to bring a smile to a malnourished kid's face, to serve Him in ways I never thought possible. Thank you. Thank you so much. I will never be able to express my gratitude or repay you for all that you helped me to do.
I'm sure I'll be posting more in the next several days and weeks. Like I mentioned before, my pictures are up on Facebook if you want to see them. We will be creating a website for all the interns to post their pictures. I will post that link when it's available.
If you are interested in hearing more about my trip, please let me know. Call me, email me, leave a comment, facebook me. I would love to tell you everything.
If you want to learn more about COTN/find out ways to get involved, please check out their website. It is an amazing organization and one that I am excited to continue to partner with.
Grace and peace to you all,
Kristen
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday -isaiah 58:10